Progress and self explorations

I spent a good hour working tonight. It's not much really in the grand scheme but it's all I can afford right now. I think I spent my hour well. I'm really happy with how this is turning out.


I just started reading Lives of the Artists. I've only read the preface, but I'm already impressed. It got me thinking as well. Tomkins talks of getting to know more about the artist's lives to understand their work and I can definitely agree. I didn't really care for Pollock's work until I learned more about the man behind the work. Now he is one of my favorite artists and I love his work. It really made me think about myself as an artist. I feel that for someone who spends a lot of time drawing themselves; I sure don't think much of how I look. I just spent an hour looking at a photo of myself, yet I really wasn't seeing myself. I look in the mirror to brush my teeth, do my hair, but rarely do I really look at myself. I sometimes surprise myself when looking in the mirror. And usually find flaws straight away as well, "I'm fat... my face looks weird.. my nose is big... I hate my teeth..." I think in my artwork I'm searching for that beauty in myself. Especially with my more recent drawings, I haven't avoided my teeth. In "Day at the Zoo" I considered editing them out, but in "Part of Me" my mouth was the only part of my face in the composition. I confronted that piece of me that I just am not fond of and tried to find the beauty in it.

I've also considered writing an autobiography someday. I think some parts of my childhood are pretty interesting, and they've definitely influenced some of my work. Like Tomkins said, artists with interesting work usually had interesting lives. I've like to think my art is interesting, and I think my life as been interesting. I think I have some things about my life I'd like to get out at some point in written form, to catalog a bit of my childhood. If not in a full autobiography, then just in a word document that will sit on my computer. I work through some issues in my work, celebrate parts of my life, and explore parts of myself. I also take inspiration from music, media, and art history.